Tuesday, November 26, 2013

RESULTS

My friend took me last weekend to this cutest boutique show. So many cute things but unsure what to buy type thing. Well while there I found a saying that now I wish I had bought because it pretty much sums up my life: "If your dreams don't scare you then they are not big enough" There is so much truth to that. I have been on pins and needles the past 7 weeks. Also with me everything worthwhile that I want to accomplish definitely doesn't come easy. I always have hoops to jump through. Here is the run down of the last 7 weeks:

Orientation Week: I show up with NO voice! Ya try introducing yourself and telling everyone why you want to go down this route. lol

Week 1: Assigned a 7 page paper written in APA format and a 10 min presentation due the next week. Every single night that week I had something going on plus I was working the weekend. On top of that write a paper??? In APA format????? It's been YEARS since I had to write a paper. Missed my race that I had gotten a free entry to :( that Saturday and last minute got someone to cover part of my shift on Saturday. Had one amazing friend help me understand the assignment, pulled an almost all nighter (went to bed at 3 am and was up doing church stuff by 9 am), had another amazing friend critique the paper, and another friend Tuesday help me spice up my presentation.

Week 2: Showed up in a bundle of nerves thinking I might hurl lol and gave it all I had. No response from teacher how things went. But told week 4 I needed to turn in a 13 page paper and give another 10 min presentation. Knowing I was going to be busy with work and church I went home holed up in front of the computer for an entire weekend and hammered out a 13 page paper.

Week 3: Teacher was suppose to sit down one on one and go over first paper. Actually excited for the critique. Want to know what I did good and what I did bad. Doesn't happen. No feedback. Do role play in class. My partner and I did it wrong got some feedback but honestly was still very confused. Mentioned in class I had started my next paper hoping teacher would comment if I was doing it right or not. Not much of a response yes or no. But 3/4's of the class after the teacher dismisses us early "Wow, you already working on 2nd paper you seem to have it together. Where did you find your resources? How did you  do your paper?" Left feeling very dejected wondering if I was doing anything right, on the verge of tears. Carpool friends buoyed me up and reminded me not to give up. Amazing friends listened to my sobs. That week amazing friends reviewed paper a few times and gave feedback. Bestie reviewed the presentation and let me practice in front of her until our eyes were burning with exhaustion. During this time developed major heartburn wondered if I had an ulcer.

Week 4: turned in paper and gave presentation in front of class plus 3 teachers critiquing me. I was nervous. Gave it all I had. Realized I stumbled a few times and lost my train of thought briefly when I realized my time was almost over. Next day with the help of my amazing presidency for church pulled off Young Womens in Excellence. Prayed constantly to God that I would be able to give my talk with not having much time to prepare it.

Week 5: had one on one session with one teacher while the other two teachers critiqued. Tried to show compassion and empathy but not sure if my point was being made. Nodded and smiled a lot and showed I was truly interested. Left with still no feedback. No feedback at all through this whole process. Pulled off a dinner with my awesome youth group and co-workers two days later for opinion leaders of Utah county. Showed the video my youth and intern and one other co-worker had been working on for months. Hosted 17 of the opinion leaders and had a grand total of 62 people there.

Week 6: Showed up today for feedback. With not only one but TWO cold sores on my lip. Never had two before. My lip is on some serious fire!!! Driving there in HORRIBLE traffic I had time to reflect. This past 6 weeks have been insane with this, church, and work. I have had BIG things to do in all areas of my life. But I can honestly say I gave my all and I was able to do it all. It wasn't easy but I showed I was determined to do well. If I was denied well at least I couldn't say I didn't try. If I was to be accepted then I knew I could handle physical and emotional ailments at once and that with amazing support at my side I would be able to make it through. This past 7 weeks I have prayed my guts out pleading for help and not once was a left alone. God was at my side through it all as well. Show up to the room a chair in front of panel of 3 teachers. Gave me some positives gave me some negatives that I was thankful for to learn from then the words............... Congratulations you passed the entrance class and officially accepted into the program!!!!!

Most exciting words all day! I am actually doing this! Thanks so much for all the love and support and for blowing up my phone tonight! Seriously, you made me feel so loved and supported. I honestly feel right now I am on the path that I am suppose to be on. I know the next few years won't be easy. I know I will  have huge assignments at work. I know Church will keep me hopping (which I love) I know I will be up to my eye balls in writing papers in APA format, giving presentations, reading, and group work but I know I will be able to get through it all. I know my body is going to fight me and bring me down but in the end I will have accomplished one of my scariest dreams out there. I will have shown it that I wanted it and gave it my all.

Tonight I am thankful for dreams, for the desire to chase them even though they are scary, for my amazing support network, for my work and church experience to help push me in this direction and giving me the confidence I needed to take a stab in the dark and for promptings that reminded me I am on the path God wants me on right now!

Tonight my heart is overjoyed! :)

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