Wednesday, March 28, 2012

What can I say: Im Just A Girl.........

Why are girls so emotional and so hard on themselves? Why can't we revel in the little things? Why do we have days when we feel like LOSER is stapled to our foreheads? Its been one of those moments where I was having a negative nanny time and wondered why do we allow it to happ
Like This:

Why am I losing ounces while everyone else is losing pounds?
Why am I losing milimeters while everyone else is losing inches?
Why can this person run 2 hrs w/o stoping and I can barely run 2 minutes w/o wanting to die?
Why do I try to be everyones friend and when I do there is always someone who will stab me in the back?
Why am I carrying such a heavy workload and when I say something its misinterpreted as I am weak and can't hack the job?
Why do I bust myself to hear "Hey Great Job!" from someone who is of importance to never hear those words?
Why do I end up being the person an angry person turns to releave their frustration and anger?
Why am I being asked to carry some pretty heavy spiritual responsibilities while still single?
Why am I still single?
What more can I be doing?
Etc etc........
We get the point especially if you are girl and someone is actually reading my blog. We all go through similar feelings.

So why can't I just say:

Hey an ounce is better than nothing!
Hey a milimeter is better than nothing!
Hey you are running and even tho its slow you are faster than the couch potato vegging in front of a t.v.
Hey these stabs in the back are just Gods way of showing you who really are your true friends and what not to do in your quest to becoming a true friend to someone else and God will compensate it all.
Hey the workload may be be hard and gruesome and even tho you are being misinterpreted the point is, is that you are doing it and revel in the strength of endurance
Hey it doesn't matter if people you want to praise you never do because the ones who do really mean it and those are the ones who really matter
Hey I am someone they trust and feel comfortable enough around to let their guard down ( this one is still really hard for me tho b/c I REALLY don't deserve to be the brunt of someone elses anger)
Hey God loves you and trusts you and knows you better than you know yourself. This is why he has given you amazing friends, family, and a rockin hardcore presidency. He has placed the people in your life that you need to accomplish what he has in store for you.
Hey at least you haven't ended up with a deadbeat, or someone who lacks true character, or someone who mistreats you and your values, or someone who wants to devout their life to you then turn around after you make lasting commitments and divorces you.
Hey despite wanting to do more revel in the fact that you are doing something and anything no matter how small is always better than nothing

We struggle for the mere fact we are GIRLS! And as girls we are always striving just a little more to find that perfection. I think its because we know our potential and want to prove we are better so we allow the negative nanny to come a creepin in! But we need to look for the positives and make a point of finding something positive daily or even hourly if needed. We need to quit comparing and realize we are our number one and the focus should be on ourselves and no one else!

And above else as a dear friend recently told me we need to remember that God COMPENSATES! We go through the hard and trying and negative nanny moments so God can raise us to our potential and give us more than we ever dreamed possible. Trials will come but so will the blessings and that reward is worth every penny of it!

So forgive my downer debbie or negative nanny moments and just remember Im just a Girl trying to figure it all out in this complicated world attempting to give myself pep rallies and moral boosters. So when the hard stuff comes and I can't seem to peel off the the Big Ol' "L" off my forehead, throw me a metaphoric pom pom and I will throw one right back at ya!





Sunday, March 18, 2012

Its officially official: The Lord has a sense of humor!!!!

Since its now officially official I can announce the whirlwind of my week. But first I must say I gotta quit being so churchy. haha JK! But as some of you know 4 1/2 years ago after living in Utah for only a few months I went in for tithing settlement and came out as the Relief Society President. I was 27 and majority of the ward was between the ages 18-20 and there was a 110 sisters. I knew No One and I had never had a Relief Society calling before.

Well, a few weeks ago my friend Bekah and I were discussing the importance of callings and serving the Lord and it made me reflect back on the time I was in that calling. Besides my mission it was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Yet it probably was one of my favorites (but seriously are callings allowed to have favorites? ) because of what I learned personally. I grew in SO many ways and was forced to learn SO many things about myself and some were hard personal moments. But I also met some AMAZING women who I will always look up to and call my friends. I saw them grow individually and collectively and every one of them taught me so much and part of me is who I am today because of them.

I went to church reflecting still on our conversation so much that the Spirit prompted me to bear my testimony of callings and serving and accepting each calling we are given willingly. Because one thing I learned with out a doubt is that the Lord calls you to the calling you are suppose to be in. Why he does this I have know idea except he is a lot smarter than me.

Anywho I have determined the Lord also has a sense of humor because on Wednesday of this past week as in 4 days ago I was asked to visit with the Bishop and I thought O Crap I bore my testimony on callings and now I am getting one. Well Im pretty sure its in the Nursery but at least it will be fun and we can play and eat snacks and I was SO excited but the Lord has another thought for me and has called me to be the new Young Womens President in my ward.

Yes, Im not gonna lie I laughed at the Bishop and said Nursery? You said nursery right? I thought you were calling me to nursery because nobody will accept nursery? And he said Nope you bore your testimony and we instantly knew this was the calling for you. The whole Bishopbric felt it immiediately.

Lesson learned my friends: NEVER go in for tithing settlement and NEVER bear your testimony especially about callings :) OK now on a serious note I am very humble and scared and excited all in one. I am new to this ward so I am having dejavue moments and I definitely don't feel qualified for a calling of this magnitude but I am humbled to know the Lord believes in me and has faith I can handle it.

I called my mom after I left the Bishops off and for those of you who know my mom just laugh and those of you who dont know her just laugh cause its just the mom  and she says "what the hell????? How are you suppose to this with everything else you are doing?" We talked about it some more then on a more serious note she says "Sweetie, I don't know why the Lord is calling you to these callings and why he is doing it while you are single but he is definitely preparing you for something bigger down the road so learn all that you can"

Honestly I am scared as to what is BIGGER down the road lol but in all seriousness I learned a long time ago that the Lord is always in control, he knows what is best, and we just have to put our trust in him and he will guide us through this crazy journey.

Also when I left the Bishops office I got a text asking if I would substitute teach Relief Society today and the funny thing the lesson was called "Sustaing those whom the Lord Sustains" I then read the lesson and realized it was time for me to recover from my panic attack and buck up and go to work. I prayed that night for counselors and then took a shower and I will never know why thoughts always come to me in the shower but they do and 3 names INSTANTLY came to my mind. I prayed again and thought why would I call them talked it out to myself (yes I have many conversations with myself) and went to sleep.

For rest of the week I could not come up with any other names and was panicking because I knew the Bishop wanted answers and the thought came to me "Quick freaking out. You have your names these are the ones." And I honestly didn't think twice about it and submitted the names to the Bishop. It is so interesting for me to see how the Lord works cause I honestly don't know very many people in this ward but I am confident in the Lord and his power and I am excited to work with the sisters and young women and know through the Lord and the Spirit and Coke and chocolate and did I mention Coke ;) we will accomplish his will and progress the work.

I am so very grateful for every sister I have called who accepted the call and went to work . Those who didn't fight or find fault or find way to hinder the work, allowed the work to move forward in miraculous ways and I will always be grateful to them. As I said I met some AMAZING sisters and to see them flourish in their callings was awe inspiring to watch.

I often wonder the path the Lord sends me down and why but I know there are many lessons for me to learn and I am excited and scared out of my mind to learn them. Feel free to bring over the Coke and the chocolate cause I could use the stock up pile. Jk! I know there are many more people more qualified then me but I am humbled to accept this calling from the Lord and stay tune as I attempt to keep up on this blog because we are in for quite the adventure! :)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

"I Didn't Keep A Testimony Through Those Times-The Testimony Kept Me" Day 2

The second day the challenge was to read and ponder Personal Revelation and Testimony by Barbara Thompson. Can I just say WOW! As I listened to conference in October I seriously felt they were all speaking directly to me. As I am re-reading the talks I am feeling it so much more and grateful for the reminders and the insights.

This talk talks about gaining our own testimony and recognizing personal revelation. She states "often as we grow from childhood to adolescence and then to adulthood we have challenges and experiences along the way which cause us to know that we need the divine help that comes through the Holy Spirit". I can HONESTLY testify how true this is. Its thru his divine help that has helped me through all challenges and experiences in my life.

Sister Thompson speaks of an experience in the Book Of Mormon where Lehi talks to his sons about some revelations and teachings. Nephi sought on his own to find out if it was true and gained his own testimony of it. His brothers however didn't and struggled with words that were said. I think this true in our lives. No matter our religious beliefs or our faith level we all struggled at one point with things that are being taught. Even though we believe most people to be talking of the word of God we are all human with our own take on it. I know for a FACT that the only way to know that something is true is to seek in prayer for the answer for ourselves.

Nephi approached his brothers and asked if they had inquired of the Lord? He reminded them that the Lord had said if ye do not harden your hearts and ask me in faith believing that ye shall receive with diligence in keeping my commandments surely these things shall be known unto you. Sister Thompson goes on to say the way to receive personal revelation is really quite clear. We need to desrire to receive revelation, we must not hardern hearts, and then we need to ask in faith, truly believe that we will receive an answer, and then diligently keep the commandments of God. This is so true in my belief. There are times when we want answers but we don't have the true desire therefore we never seek the answer. We like the faith and courage to accept the right answer when it comes because we have a fear that the answer will be one we don't want. We will NEVER know unless we put these steps into practice. If we do what the Lord asks of us at all times then he will always guide us in the right direction and manifest the truthfulness of all things to us.

I like how she points out that following this pattern does not mean that every time we ask a question of God that he will answer immediately but that it does mean the answers will come in the Lord's own way and in His time. I think its key that we remember in his own time. I know from experiences that this causes doubts and frustrations but I also know as I apply from faith in Him above all else that my frustrations subside and I am a little more patient. I am not saying that it is easy thou and we all know how I lack patience but over the years God has slowly been teaching me more patience and diligence in the things that are right.

Sister Thompson reminds us that personal revelation can come through scripture study, listening and following the counsel of the prophets and other Church leaders, and seeking to live faithful, righteous lives. Revelation comes in all forms but as we seek to recognize it for ourselves we will know individually how we personally receive revelation.

President Uchtdorf teaches that revelation and testimony do not always come with overwhelming force. For many, a testimony comes slowly-a piece at a time. He counsels us to earnestly seek the light of personal revelation. Let us plead with the Lord to endow our mind and soul with the spark of faith that will enable us to receive and recognize the divine ministering of the Holy Spirit.

Sister Thompson then continues our testimonies fortify us and strengthen us as we face challenges in our daily lives. It is our testimony combined with our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and our knowledge of the plan of salvation which helps us get through these times of trial and hardship. This has been so true in my life specifically. Lat year there were many times when I was brought so low and was wondering when I would be on top again but one thing that kept me going was my testimony of the truth and my belief in God. She talks of a sister struggling with trials thru World War II and people asked her how she didnt loose her faith her faith and how she kept her testimony during all those trials and she responds I didn't keep a testimony through those times - the testimony kept me. I know exactly how she felt. My testimony keeps me going on a daily basis.

But as mentioned in the talk it can only keep us going if we nourish and cultivate the testimony. We need to dedicate ourselves to attending church services and do our best to attend ALL of it. Partake of the sacrament weekly and feast upon the good word. I am grateful for the many opportunities I have tio culitvate my testimony daily. I know revelation comes in many forms and I get so excited and feel so much gratitude when I recognize it. For me when I recognize it my testimony of my Saviors love for me increases. I realize even more how mindful he is of me. I have learned that these answers depend upon my willingness to do my part and to follow what I know to be right. I have come to realize that our desires are not always answered immediately but I have gained a comfort in knowing that my Savior and  Heavenly Father are still mindful of me and answers will come in his time. As I desire to truly to be answered in his time he will give me the answers and desire of my heart. For this I will eternally be grateful for my testimony and personal revelations that I receive! :)

Let the Countdown begin........... A Little Late lol

A couple of weeks ago I saw a countdown to the next conference for my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Every six months we get the privledge to hear talks from our beloved prophet and other leaders for 2 days. For us its a wonderful experience and usually the spirit is very strong. In this countdown it encouraged us to reflect certain talks each day for the next month. As noted in the title I am a little behind as life has been extremely crazy for me but my goal is to each day read the suggested talks and blog my thoughts

The first day suggestion was reading the welocme from our prophet. I always love when he welcomes us. I can truly feel of his love for each one of us individually. In his talk re reflected on it being 48 years since he was first called as an apostle for our church. I took an institute class that spoke of him for the whole class and his life. Thru this experience I have come to love and apreciate him even more for his dedication to all that is right and true and pure.

During his first talk he always mentions temples and new ones that are being built for our use. Before mentioning the new temples he reported "that no Church-built facility is more important than a temple. Temples are places where relationships are sealed together to last through eternities" Where I have the opportunity to serve in the temple weekly I love when they are mentioned and it strengthens my testimony of them.

He mentioned that Provo Utah is getting a second temple which is dear to my heart because they are restoring the Provo Tabernacle that burned down in Dec 2010. This beautiful building is right acrosss the street from my office and when it burned down I think it left all of us a little broken hearted as well. I have taken my lunch multiple times and sat under the trees of grounds to ponder during the summer hours. To now have a temple right across the street is to much to say. It has been exciting the last few months as I get the opportunity to watch the progress. The hotel and restaurant next to it has been demolished and the ground is being prepared for the use of the future temple grounds. He also mentioned new temples in Barranquilla Colombia, Durban South Africa, Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and in Star Valley Wyoming. The last one also excites me a little more as I have traveled through Star Valley mutiple times to get to Palisades and Jackson Hole. Star Valley is one of the most beautiful areas and it emulates God's love for nature. To add a temple to the picture will make the view even more majestic.


The second talk we were ask to reflect on was the Power of Scripture by Elder Richard G Scott. Shortly after hearing this talk I was asked to give a talk in church about it. Listening to this talk I felt a lot of the words for me and I felt that I needed to dive into the scriptures more than I normally do. He reported in his talk that for us to grow we must experience challenges and some would be most overpowering. Having endured quite a bit this past year I was some what comforted in knowing once again that there was a purpose to all that I had endured. He reports providing tools to help us endure during our trials and one tool is the scriptures. He reminded us that all scriptures are a treasure for us and that they were generated from inspired communication through the Holy Ghost and that they are pure truth. I love how he describes that scriptures are like packets of light that illuinate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high. They can become the key to open the channel to communion with our Father in Heaven and his Beloved Son Jesus Christ.

This is so very true. Just recently I was deciding how to approach a situation that was touchy and sensitive. As I was deciding how to aprroach the situation I kept praying and seeking for the Spirit as I dove into the scriptures more diligently. I feel the Spirit was present as I approached the situation cannidy and that I was guided in what I needed to say. He states the scriptures as being stalwart friends and never faltering. We have always experienced those "fair weather" friends and I agree its great comfort knowing we can turn to the scriptures even if we have ignored them for awhile they are always there to provide guidance and comfort.

He asked how we use our scriptures? I mark mine up a lot and write things on the side of the pages that I felt or that was said to add clarifications. I also have quotes glued in from leaders that add light to a passage. When I was a Sophmore in college I had the privledge to be on a council for IWA or Institute Womens Association. During one of our activities we had a message on scriptures and we were encouraged to mark in the scriptures each time it said the word Remember. As I did it was like the scriptures opened up all over again for me. I repeated the process for the next few readings choosing a new word.

I know each time we re-read the scriptures that new things will guide us. Even though I had read the Book of Mormon a few times I remember sitting on a bunk bed in a little room of the MTC in Sao Paolo Brasil as a missionary for my church. As I read the book every morning it was like I was opening it all over again for the first time.

I have a strong testimony of general conference, of temples and of the scriptures. They all guide me as I strive to continue to be a better person each day. Im grateful for the insights I gain and for the challenge I have taken to study the talks and to blog my thoughts!