Blessings of Life

Why is life so hard???????????????????????????????? That is the phrase I have been hearing over and over again by so many people the last few months. Why do we have the challenges we do? Why do we have to deal with life’s hardships? Why do I have to make such hard decisions? Why can’t I just avoid making decisions and live as if pain is not there?

I have been thinking about this a lot as I have listened to so many people discuss their hardships with me and wish I had the best answers for them.  Sadly, I don’t have the best answers and in fact my heart reaches out to them because not that long ago I was wondering similar things.

I still don’t think my life is the greatest and I definitely don’t have all the answers out there but some of the conclusions I have come through during the past couple of years of really hard moments are the following:

#1: Trials don’t go away, but neither does Christ!

I was thinking about this and then saw the saying on facebook and it is so true. We all have trials. We all have to make decisions for our lives. This is how we grow and become the best person we can be. It is through these that we are changed and molded. If we don’t make decisions for ourselves then how will we know what is best for us. Sometimes we have to accept the answer as “No” and that is the hardest. Believe me, I get that one. But there are so many times we are scared to hear the answer no so we continue in misery and pain and indecisiveness. That is not the life to live. This is the moment to put total trust in something Higher than ourselves and know that Christ is not going away and will guide us through. Even if the answer might be no God knows what is best and if you ALLOW him to guide your life he will let you see the answer that is YES!

 

#2 Refiners fire always has a purpose!

We are being molded and we are being shaped into something our human eyes struggle to see. Getting burned, feeling pain is all part of the plan. People try to avoid pain. People try to avoid hurt. Cause honestly who wants to feel those things? No One!!! I get it probably more than most. But allowing ourselves to feel pain allows us to express humility and realize there is power Higher than ours that will lead us to a better place.

 

#3 We can do hard things!

We need to realize that the hard things are not going to go away but that as we push ourselves we can experience so many changes that will become the sweetest tender mercies that we have ever experienced. We need to remember that we are not left alone to figure out this life. We are not here without tools to make us stronger, to make us better. IF we allow ourselves to be pushed, put forth the work, and trust it can be done than it can be done.

So with all this said I have decided to prove to myself that I can do hard things and that if I work hard and put in my effort and faith then I can accomplish things. Some trials are a result of our actions and some trials just come because they are a part of life and it’s a thing we must deal with.

As most of you know a few years ago I decided to take up running. Running is not a natural thing for me. Quite honestly I am not fast at all. I would beat myself up over this when I would see people run faster than me or my time wasn’t the “best”. On top of this as friends would improve and become faster I would encounter more and more health problems and it has affected my ability to run as well as I want to. But I know if I endure well then I can accomplish what I set out to do in life. Even though I still struggle with this, I am training to tell myself it’s not how fast I go it’s the fact that I am doing it. It’s the fact that I am putting one foot in front of the other and trusting that I am not left alone to handle this alone.

In the past two years I have endured 3 foot surgeries, I have a weak ankle from falling down some stairs that has not quite healed the same, I developed sciatic nerve problems during my Teton trip last summer that still flares up, and lately I have been experiencing more back cramps and leg cramps then I ever knew was possible. But with all this going on I still want to run. I want to work through this trial and trust that something Higher than me believes in me that I can do it.

 

So a few weeks ago I did a crazy thing: I signed up for a 10K! For most people this is nothing. But for me this is huge! With all the issues that keep hitting me running is becoming a hard trial. People said “Sarah you are crazy!” But they were supportive in pushing me on. I didn’t give myself much time to prep for this and with all my health issues attacking me I am not expecting huge results. I am just expecting to make it through the finish line! J I have an awesome friend who has been pushing me harder and harder and reminding me that I need to put it in my head that I can do it. Having her support by my side has been amazing.

So if anyone is reading this, I ask for an extra prayer as I tackle this 10K tomorrow morning at 7 am sharp. I know just like other trials I have in life that I can endure this. I know that I am not being left alone, and I know I am being refined into something greater by doing this. I want to live a long healthy life. If I get married someday I want to be a healthy wife and support to my husband. If I have children or children are entrusted to me someday then I want to be a healthy fun mother. If neither of those things comes then I want to be a healthy and fun aunt, friend, sister, and daughter. I don’t want my trials to weigh me down and stop me from accomplishing what I know I can become in life. Whether it is running or not, I am here to prove that I have the power to change my life, make the best choices for me, and strive to live the best life I can.

As nervous as I am, I am looking forward to crossing the finish line on Center Street in Provo tomorrow morning. If you are bored and live close by come on down and support all these runners who train so hard to better themselves. If unable to come your prayers and support will be greatly appreciated. Cause whether our trial is running or on a much deeper level; bottom line is that we can accomplish all things if we put one foot in front of the other and allow ourselves to be guided in the best direction we can and trust that whatever we are sent here to endure, if we endure it well, will be for our best benefit! J

 

What Will Others Say?????

A few months ago I was talking to my older brother and he told me that a guy his age from High School passed away a couple of days before. Even though I didn't know him I grew up with his wife so my brother and I were taken back by the news and it really bothered us. I think it was hard because of his age. I mean seriously what would I do if I lost one of my brothers?????? I can't even think about it.

Recently we have been hearing of our parent's friends passing away and we commented that is just way to young but now people our age??? It was definitely a reality check of how precious life is and to live it to the fullest. When my brother and I were talking he said something that has stuck with me. He said, "Sarah I was just a nobody in High School. (I think my bro is pretty awesome but this is how he felt) This guy was your all around jock in every sense of the word except how you typically think of jocks. Most jocks not only play the sports which he did but they also seem to snub people not of their "class" but this guy was so nice to me. He called me by name and he always asked how my day was going. I didn't play his sports I wasn't in his crowd but he always acknowledged me. This guy will be greatly missed in my book" I saw a facebook page dedicated to him and SO many people said similar comments about this guy how he was so nice and genuine and caring.

It really hit me: What will other say about me when I am gone?

Then today I had the privilege of paying my respects to a dear lady I met 6 years ago when I moved to Utah. She was older but her death was just as sudden as my brother's friend and took us all by surprise. I use to eat dinner with her and husband some times and I loved to listen to her stories. For two years straight I was asked to promise that I would visit her and her husband frequently and check in on them which I did. Every couple of months I would go over for an evening and just talk with them and bring them a lil treat. She was so funny and could always brighten my day. I loved her stories and she was always asking about me and my job and how my church calling was. I remember about a year and a half ago I ran into them at a park. I was looking for a seat and I heard my name and she was sitting there with out stretch arms to give me a hug and invited my friend and I to sit by them to watch the event we were both attending. The last couple of years my visits with them has not been as frequent but each time I would see them I was received with hugs and them both wanting to know how I am doing in my life. I remember one time I stopped by their house to pick up their granddaughter and they said, "We read about you and your events in the newspaper. In fact it was our whole dinner discussion about all the amazing things you are doing." Seriously, could you meet any nicer people than this?

During the service as they talked about her and her life and how she was, everything they said was so true. I kept thinking yep that describes her perfectly. Yep that is exactly how she was?

Then the thought came back to me: What will others say about me?

When I pass on will I be remembered as living life to the fullest? Will I be remembered for doing good and service and showing love to God and others? Will I be remembered as a happy person? Will I be remembered for enduring trials well? So many thoughts have gone through my mind the past few months.

I have realized that there are a lot of things I want to be better at. I don't want to be someone who is negative. Someone who complains how hard life is. Or complains in general but doesn't want to change anything. I want to show love and let love define me. I want to forgive freely and reach out to others more. I want to live a life that God would be proud of me for living. I don't want to be one who settled on things in life because it seems like my "only" option at the time and then be miserable over my choices. I don't want to have regrets. I want to be happy and loving and to be remembered as so.

One thing that was said today that struck me was "Take sorrow out of death means you have to take love out of life" Really we can't or shouldn't want to do that. We want to have so much love that we have a reason to sorrow and rejoice at the same time for knowing such an amazing person.

So a question for all of us to ponder is simply: How are we living our lives? Are we happy with our choices? If not, what can we do differently? And more importantly when we pass on will others say things that truly describe us and if so are they happy positive things.

This guy had no clue the impact he had on my brother just as I am sure this dear sweet lady had no clue the impact she and her husband has had on my life. So I guess more importantly then what will are friends and family will say but what about the people we see infrequently? Do we treat them the same as our closest people and again what will these people say.

I hope I can follow the amazing examples of people who have impacted my life and the lives of my loved ones. Cause truly when some one you may not even remember from High School or someone you have seen variously over the last 6 years has been impacted by you that much and has so many positive things to say about you then you know that you have lived your life right and lived your life good.

I want to live my life right. I want to live my life good.