A few months ago I was talking to my older brother and he told me that a guy his age from High School passed away a couple of days before. Even though I didn't know him I grew up with his wife so my brother and I were taken back by the news and it really bothered us. I think it was hard because of his age. I mean seriously what would I do if I lost one of my brothers?????? I can't even think about it.
Recently we have been hearing of our parent's friends passing away and we commented that is just way to young but now people our age??? It was definitely a reality check of how precious life is and to live it to the fullest. When my brother and I were talking he said something that has stuck with me. He said, "Sarah I was just a nobody in High School. (I think my bro is pretty awesome but this is how he felt) This guy was your all around jock in every sense of the word except how you typically think of jocks. Most jocks not only play the sports which he did but they also seem to snub people not of their "class" but this guy was so nice to me. He called me by name and he always asked how my day was going. I didn't play his sports I wasn't in his crowd but he always acknowledged me. This guy will be greatly missed in my book" I saw a facebook page dedicated to him and SO many people said similar comments about this guy how he was so nice and genuine and caring.
It really hit me: What will other say about me when I am gone?
Then today I had the privilege of paying my respects to a dear lady I met 6 years ago when I moved to Utah. She was older but her death was just as sudden as my brother's friend and took us all by surprise. I use to eat dinner with her and husband some times and I loved to listen to her stories. For two years straight I was asked to promise that I would visit her and her husband frequently and check in on them which I did. Every couple of months I would go over for an evening and just talk with them and bring them a lil treat. She was so funny and could always brighten my day. I loved her stories and she was always asking about me and my job and how my church calling was. I remember about a year and a half ago I ran into them at a park. I was looking for a seat and I heard my name and she was sitting there with out stretch arms to give me a hug and invited my friend and I to sit by them to watch the event we were both attending. The last couple of years my visits with them has not been as frequent but each time I would see them I was received with hugs and them both wanting to know how I am doing in my life. I remember one time I stopped by their house to pick up their granddaughter and they said, "We read about you and your events in the newspaper. In fact it was our whole dinner discussion about all the amazing things you are doing." Seriously, could you meet any nicer people than this?
During the service as they talked about her and her life and how she was, everything they said was so true. I kept thinking yep that describes her perfectly. Yep that is exactly how she was?
Then the thought came back to me: What will others say about me?
When I pass on will I be remembered as living life to the fullest? Will I be remembered for doing good and service and showing love to God and others? Will I be remembered as a happy person? Will I be remembered for enduring trials well? So many thoughts have gone through my mind the past few months.
I have realized that there are a lot of things I want to be better at. I don't want to be someone who is negative. Someone who complains how hard life is. Or complains in general but doesn't want to change anything. I want to show love and let love define me. I want to forgive freely and reach out to others more. I want to live a life that God would be proud of me for living. I don't want to be one who settled on things in life because it seems like my "only" option at the time and then be miserable over my choices. I don't want to have regrets. I want to be happy and loving and to be remembered as so.
One thing that was said today that struck me was "Take sorrow out of death means you have to take love out of life" Really we can't or shouldn't want to do that. We want to have so much love that we have a reason to sorrow and rejoice at the same time for knowing such an amazing person.
So a question for all of us to ponder is simply: How are we living our lives? Are we happy with our choices? If not, what can we do differently? And more importantly when we pass on will others say things that truly describe us and if so are they happy positive things.
This guy had no clue the impact he had on my brother just as I am sure this dear sweet lady had no clue the impact she and her husband has had on my life. So I guess more importantly then what will are friends and family will say but what about the people we see infrequently? Do we treat them the same as our closest people and again what will these people say.
I hope I can follow the amazing examples of people who have impacted my life and the lives of my loved ones. Cause truly when some one you may not even remember from High School or someone you have seen variously over the last 6 years has been impacted by you that much and has so many positive things to say about you then you know that you have lived your life right and lived your life good.
I want to live my life right. I want to live my life good.
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