This week has been an interesting one to say the least. Usually when one perspective of life hits you hard you have another perspective to buoy you up but ohhhhh not so this week. As previously mentioned in my last blog last Sunday was not an easy day. Then during the week I was thrown under the bus for following thru with an assignment given to me. Just as I was recovering from this situation I was thrown under the bus yet again. This time I was accused of intentionally causing malice to others. I was reprimanded for assumptions on the other person's part. They "assumed" I did certain things or meant certain things or said certain things and they "assumed" all these things were directed to them. This was not the case and it was very hard to sit there and listen to these accusations be thrown at me. Needless to say by the time this week came to an end I was ready to throw in the towel. I was ready to give it all up because it is so not worth it to me to have to deal with stuff like this.
Yesterday when I woke up I realized I still needed to plan my lesson for church today. I had been thinking about it for weeks and had originally came up with a topic but after the week I had I didn't think it was the best to teach this lesson. I prayed and the original thought came back into my mind and I thought NO!!!!!! I can't do it! I seriously don't think I can do this! But the thought wouldn't leave my mind and I knew I had to study it out and come up with a lesson!
The Topic: Forgiving Others
NO JOKE!!!! I thought really???? This is SO not funny! I was not in the mind to do it. I think part of it is because when we are wronged by others the natural man steps in and we want them to feel the pain they caused us to feel. We want karma to come and we want it to come in full vengeance. That is definitely not the Christ-like feeling or way to act but it just doesn't seem fair that others can treat us certain ways and then go on their merry way and we have to pick up our hurt selves and move on with life.
I studied so many different perspectives yesterday, I gained some insights from my amazing father to study and then my amazing mother and I had a conversation that brought about another perspective. So we had a discussion in class today how to develop the qualities we need to freely forgive those who hurt us and bring us down.
I brought a frozen turkey yes a frozen turkey to church and I had them imagine it was 20 lbs. It was only 9 lbs and asked them how they would feel if the 20 lb turkey had hit them in the face as they were driving down the freeway going 75 mph and how they would feel if their face had to be reconstructed and then I asked them how they would feel if the person who threw that at them did it after stealing a credit card and bought it on a thoughtless shopping spree? We discussed various feelings of hurt anger and frustration. I then continued the story I was sharing how the lady that this actually happened to freely forgave her assailant. She was more concerned with them then with herself. I kept thinking how???? I was still feeling so hurt from my week.
We brought up other scenarios as well where assailants were forgiven so easily. Thru our discussion it was concluded that in order to be able to forgive others freely we need to show love and compassion for those who harm us, we need to step back and view how Christ would view and we need to look at the eternal perspective of the situation. Easy? NO!!!! But I also know deep down this is the best thing to do. We need to have faith in God and trust in his word and have a desire to follow his example.
I studied that forgiveness is not always instantaneous and I learned that every trial and experience you have to pass through is necessary for your salvation. Then I learned: If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. That forgiveness is a liberating gift that people can give to themselves.
Then I was taught in my studies further about the atonement and learned: It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through his Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. For all of us who forgive the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort.
Lastly I was was taught: We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things to annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things.
Then tonight I was listening to a talk and I learned from that, that it is better not to shrink then to survive. That we need to live with focused faith and be in complete accordance to the will of the Lord. I learned that I need to live a life of learning, living, and becoming.
I will be honest, forgiveness is not easy and I admire those who freely forgive. The earlier offenses of the week were easier to forgive as I worked through them this week and came to terms with it and looked at the eternal perspective as it was mentioned in class today. The accusations that occurred later in the week are a harder to swallow and move forward because they were extremely hurtful and I don't appreciate the way I was attacked. But I know more for my eternal progression I need to not let others hurtful comments stop me from progressing. I need to move forward with the example of Christ in my heart. I need to move forward with a continual prayer that I might view the eternal perspective as well. I need live with my life only in the accordance to the will of the Lord. I need to live knowing I am stronger and better then the circumstances that are thrown at me and attempt to bring me down.
I write these words out so I can put into practice what I was taught this weekend. So I can live how my Savior would have me live. Even tho its hard and the natural man wants to scream "knock it to them" "have the hurt returned to them" deep down what I really want is to be able to forgive freely. I want to forgive instantaneously. The other way is not the way to live and in the end it only hurts me because others move on and don't even think twice how deeply they hurt you. From here on out when figuratively "frozen turkeys" are thrown at my face I will follow the examples I learned about this weekend and not let it keep me down.
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