Do you ever say things that totally seem to get misinterpreted? This seems to be the story of my life! lol Most of the time I just go through life being me and with that words tend to tumble out of my mouth. Without fail someone takes offense to what I say or do.
I don't intentionally tend to cause harm really I don't. But there are times when I suffer from open mouth insert foot disease. I just talk and don't realize that something I said could have offended someone. It is so hard to know how everyone is feeling. Like I said I don't try to intentionally cause harm.
I just wish people got offended less and were more patient and understanding. I wish people would seek to understand then assume or accuse you of saying one thing or another. This has been a goal of mine to seek what others mean and not instantly jump to conclusions with it.
As my project is progressing and I am feeling more genuine happiness around me it seems there are some people who associate with me less. Its as if my happiness offends them in one way or another. Its a funny concept to think about really. You would think the happier you are the more people would want to be around you. It was brought to my attention once that maybe I associated with some negative people before and they can't handle my happiness and that is why we don't associate anymore. They don't believe that someone can truly be happy without an agenda. That you don't need someone or something specific to make you happy.
If this is the case, it saddens me because I have never wanted my happiness project to offend others. This is something I have taken on for myself internally to be better at. It has truly helped me and I am so grateful for the person I am becoming tho it hurts that the person I am becoming is potentially offending others. The last few months I have learned to find joy in the little things. I find myself randomly smiling A LOT, I find myself with more energy, I find myself finding more positives then negatives, and I find myself LAUGHING!!!! This has been a fun part :). I haven't laughed this much in a long time and I feel something is awakening inside my body. So many things in life make me laugh. This usually produces a gut rolling laugh with tears coming down my face. It is a great feeling. I hope people understand this is about me and understand when I laugh and smile so much that it is coming from something within and usually I am obliviously to how this is making you feel.
Along with this project tho I have found some amazing people who have continued to be at my side and support me thru this project. I am so grateful for them and their support. They have helped me to see the good in bettering myself and I have deepened some relationships that weren't there before the project and the ones that were there continue to deepen and grow. I have come to realize that I have some amazing people in my life.
Focusing on myself and how I am feeling these past few months may have put blinders on. Again not intentional. I have just been trying to better myself and not let the negatives of life affect me. One thing that has been a big focus with me has been to increase my spirituality. I have been seeking to recognize the Spirit more and spent a lot of time trying to recognize its presence in my life. As part of helping myself to do this, I took on a challenge to read the Book of Mormon in two month or else. I can officially say I accomplished it. I finished reading it this morning. It has been a great challenge and I once again learned so much and have been able to apply so much of it in my life lately. It has shown me different ways to increase my happiness and how I can go about it. It has reminded me the importance of living a happy life for myself and why I need to seek the Spirit constantly.
This project has taught me so much how I can improve myself. For that I am grateful and just hope and pray that those who seem to be offended by me will realize its not intended to hurt them but its something totally selfish as bad as that sounds to help myself to become a better happier person each day.
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