KINDRED SPIRITS

As Day 1 of the publicly announcing what you are grateful for comes to an end, I contemplated if I wanted to jump on the bandwagon. I have a few different times in various ways but decided why not again and incorporate my blog! :) This also will help me accomplish the 21 days of gratitude we are doing at work. I have noticed this past year especially with my happiness project that the more often I say out loud or write down what I am thankful for it reminds me of the positives in life. This also helps me from falling into the trap of "Negative Nancy" We all know those people and this past year I have tried really hard to limit my interactions with them so I am not surrounded by all their complaints and I have tried extra hard not to be one. I will admit I have my hard moments and I slip into the trap but I am trying hard not to be that person cause lets just be plain honest THEY ARE EXHAUSTING!

Ok, so enough about the negatives this is suppose to be what I am grateful for! So today I feel I need mention how grateful I am for friends. Not saying its my #1 because I am talking about them on day one but just feel they need a particular special shout out today.

In the past I have had people claim to be my friend and I am sure many of you have as well. But just claiming to be one's friend only goes so far. Even some claim to be your best friend but within time sorta dump you along the road for no particular reason.

Then there are the people who claim to be your friend and mean every bit of the claim and those are the people I am most grateful for today!

Being able to call my bestie after an awkward and uncomfortable encounter at work and have her just listen as I spoke of the encounter and my struggle with it. To have her husband get on the line to tell me a Chuck Norris quote and send me laughing! Both just what I needed.

Being able to lay on my friend's couch and watch a movie because we were both sick and she gave me medicine and Gatorade.

I am grateful for all the friends who continuously send me support messages during my crazy adventures. Who help me figure out what I am doing and make sense of it so I don't fall flat on my face.

Grateful for the friends who feed me delicious food and checking up on me to see that I am doing okay.

Grateful for the friends who invite me to things even after I have to say No because of work. (Keep inviting because one of these days I promise I will be able to say YES)

Grateful for friends who even though we don't see each other often still keep in contact with me through facebook.

Grateful for those friends who are always posting positive things and helping me to see the positives.

Grateful for the friends who make me laugh and know just what to do to put a smile on my face.

Grateful for friends who help me see outside the norm and appreciate different perspectives of life.

Grateful for those friends who never stop being a friend even tho life gets busy! That means so much knowing that no matter what you have a friend in them.

Lastly grateful for you friends who have accepted me for me. Who have realized I am not perfect and I have my faults but you are willing to look past them and help me look past them and still be there at my side.

There was periods of times in my life when I felt as if I never had a true friend. Then there were periods of life when I felt like I only had one or two true friends. But today I have thought about how many "true friends" I have right now and my heart swells with gratitude for each of you.

Thank you true friends for coming into my life and impacting it for the better! I am a better person because of your influences. I hope I can strive to be as good a friend to you as you are to me!

SEASON OF CHANGE

SEASON OF CHANGE

With the changes of the weather and the leaves it has gotten me thinking about all the changes we go through in our lives. The weather is getting colder and even though right now I am not happy about it soon I will embrace the change and be excited for Christmas. Then I will be excited and ready for the days of Spring and Summer again. Just the same with life, sometimes I am not happy about changes but with time I will grow to appreciate the change that has happened.

Change has definitely not stopped in my life and I am finally ready to write about it because I think I can finally embrace it and it move forward with renewed positive outlook about life.

One change that came in my life the last few months came when a guy I had been flirting with for a few months finally asked me where I see myself with him and his children (who were adorable) long term. Now let’s ponder this question for a minute. How often does this question present itself to Sarah? Um, NEVER!!! I really liked the guy and I could see myself with him long term so needless to say I was ecstatic over this question. Well, two days later while sitting alone in a hotel room in Montana for work he text and said “Just Kidding about all I said, I am going back to my girlfriend I had even though she doesn’t know if she loves me and doesn’t know if she loves my children” A week later when I returned from Montana we talked and he said even though I was amazing in every sense of the word he feels he is committed to her and he will have to do his best to forget about me and that I exist. He has done just that since that day. The kicker to this story is that we work in the same building together. People kept telling me to get over him and he was not worth it. I am to that point that I am able to move forward which is why I think I am writing my feelings now but man it has been hard knowing I work with someone who is purposely going out of their way to ignore me. I have to walk down the hall every day, walk into his office area every day for one thing or another work related and knowing he is purposely sitting there ignoring me. Talk about a constant salt to the wound. But just as seasons change and move forward so do situations and that is what I am doing moving forward.

I thought having a guy deny there was ever anything between us and then keep trying to come back into my life was hard but having someone you actually like tell you they had the same feelings you had then drop you like a sack of manure was a different kind of hurt that definitely took some time to jump back from. But life always moves forward and doesn’t stop just like the seasons and I am moving forward as well. The smile and determination to find the positives in life has returned and I know I am being watched over and that there are good things happening in my life.

One change that has come into my life is finally taking the plunge to really explore continuing my education. I have pondered this thought for a while and decided now is the time to see if it is really for me. I am registered for the Masters of School Counseling degree and even now as I write I get goose bumps thinking of this change. On Tuesday I will start a 6 week class and at the end it will determine if I can continue or not. I went to orientation this past week and even though I had no voice due to a recent sickness the feelings of being overwhelmed sunk in deep. But at the same time I am really excited for this change. The next 6 weeks will definitely be life alternating as I learn to be a student again and write papers and give presentations but I am ready to give it my all to see if I really have what it takes to be a school counselor. I am thankful for the prayers that have already been sent my way and pray for continual prayers as I work my tail off the next 6 weeks and then hopefully the next 2 ½ years if they accept me to go further into the program. They said this week only 75% of the class actually passes this 6 week class! YIKES!!!!!!

Since I can’t seem to just handle one change in my life and usually have multiple going on at once in my life, I have yet another change as well. I feel that is the same with the seasons especially since the weather doesn’t know yet if it is fall or winter. As some people know I am prepping to run a marathon in August. If any of you really follow me you know I am not a runner naturally and this is a challenge as well. Thanks for the well wishes I have received thus far in my journey. I know it won’t be easy but I am thankful for the challenge to get out there and give it all I got. I know going through the finish line will be an emotion I won’t be able to explain. I know there will be tears and pain and joy and exhaustion and excitement. But just the same I am looking forward to this.

2014 will definitely be a year of changes if I get to continue in my education and prepare for my marathon and who knows what else that is thrown in my way along with fulfilling my church calling and working  full time. I know some of these changes haven’t been easy and I know the future changes won’t be easy as well but just the same I know there is a reason for all things and I am excited to look forward to the future with a positive outlook and determination to succeed.
Each season comes with a determination to make itself known. Fall is determined to show its crisp air and changing of colors. Winter will be just as determined to come with its fierce wind and beautiful snowflakes. Then spring will return with its flowers doing its best to show through and then summer will come with its beautiful blue skies and lovely warm weather.

In our lives we need to be just as determined to live with and through whatever is thrown our way. Some changes come not from choices of our own and some changes do come from our choices as I have seen lately. But I have learned our attitude really does determine how the outcome will move forward. I am looking forward to continue to move past the sadness and hurt that has come into my life and I look forward to the new changes in my life as well.

Every day as I wake up and look outside I see continual changes in the air and as I look in the mirror I see continual changes in my life. Embrace the changes because they come whether we are prepared or not. Go forward with a positive attitude and look forward to how the seasons of our lives can change us for the better! J

The Route

Four years ago my work decided to hold their first annual 5K. I thought hmmm 5K, sounds interesting and if I participate I get my quarterly health and wellness money. So, I sign up without much prep and arrive for my first ever 5K. I started running and of course not knowing anything I pushed myself way to hard in the beginning and I thought the route was going to kill me.

The second year I did a little bit better but I had in my mind that the hill we went up was HUGE!!!! And therefore I didn't care much for the route again as I walked/run and wondered why in heaven's name do people enjoy running! lol The third year I was busy tackling the Tetons with the bros and missed out on the annual race.



This morning was the 4th annual race and ALL summer I kept telling my friend who was going to run it with me that this route is horrible and that there is this crazy HUGE hill and it hurts and it sucks and I hope now that I have been running more that I can actually make it to the top.

Yesterday was a hard day! HARD. DAY. And no need for details but with that hard day came tears. Multiple times thought out the day the tears flowed. SO. MANY. TEARS. With that came the most horrific headache and upset stomach!

I awoke and arrived at 6:30 this morning to help set up for the race and was still feeling horrible. And I thought and I have to run that blasted hill this morning as well. My summer side kick running support showed up for the race and off we went. It wasn't even mile 1 and I thought I was going to puke! She kept pushing me along! "You can do it Sarah!" " It's still flat, we got this" and we continued on.

The spot where the hill was, was coming up and I was dreading it with every fiber of my being! And then it came into view and some how the gigantic hill became........ a steady climb! Was it easy? Heck No! Was it possible? Heck Yes!

You see I had mentally pictured this route to be the hardest route out there based on the one experience I had. Because I had the one bad experience I had my mind set up that it was always going to be bad and nothing else. I just knew that I would never be able to conquer that hill.

Such is the same with life. We have one bad experience and we settle in thinking I don't deserve any more than what is given to me. We allow ourselves to justify attitudes and behaviors and let ourselves think this is all we deserve. SO NOT TRUE!!!! The more we put these mental blocks in our heads the less of a chance we have to progress and to truly see what true joy, true happiness, and true triumph can be. We must endure pain to experience true happiness and we can have that true happiness if we put enough faith in allowing it to happen.

I made it up the hill this morning and as I did the above thoughts flowed through my mind and the pains started to become less noticeable and I obtained enough momentum and desire to keep going to the end. Again much is true with life. We need to gain that confidence in ourselves that we can achieve whatever thing we want in life if we allow ourselves to have confidence and faith that it can happen. We need to have the confidence in ourselves to believe that we can have the best out there and not need to settle for what is readily at our fingertips for fear and the mental mind set that we are not worthy of anything better in our lives.

We need to remember we have the power within to make the necessary changes in our lives to create the up most happiness and triumphs in our lives. I know it sounds cheesy but its the absolute truth. I allowed myself to think I would never get over a gigantic hill that was in reality a steady climb and with enough practice over the years I was able to accomplish it.

The more we put one foot in front of the other, believe we don't have to settle, and recognize our own worth and ability then opportunities open up beyond measure and that  those mental blocks disappear.

MOVING!!!!

My sweet lil' Sis is leaving for her mission next week. She flies out to Brasil on Tuesday. It seemed when she got her call that the end of July was SO far away and now before we know it the time has come and in just a few short days she will leave on a jet plane.

I remember when her brother came home from his mission a few months ago and a few of us exclaimed "Wow, that was fast! Time has sure flown" "Did two years really pass us by?" After those comments I thought about how quickly time flies and I wondered What have I done in the last two years?

In those two years he was gone I:

1. Moved again (surprise surprise) haha and this time back to Orem. Not to far from where I started my Utah journey 6 years ago. I have practically done a full circle but I think I am content for a minute. This place feels more like a home than all of the other places. I live closer to my dearest and longest friend I have had since moving to Utah and I couldn't ask for better neighbors. We have become such good friends and they take such good care of me and they feed me lol :)

2. I switched jobs. I went from one area at the Health Department that I had become very comfortable with to another department. It has been quite the change. Very challenging job yet I have learned a lot and I have come to love what I do.

3. Switched wards in my LDS church. Some people think no biggie and usually its not but this time not only did I switch wards but I moved into a ward that is primarily married people. Before I attended church with people who were single like myself. This has been quite the change but I have been blessed to have met some great people who continue to make me feel welcome in a potentially awkward situation.

4. I hiked over a crazy mountain terrain, I ran the dirtiest run ever, and many other races as well.

5. With my new job I finally became certified in what I do after all these years. That is actually a big deal and really needed in my profession.

6. I received a calling at church that I never imagined I would receive ever. It has been challenging as well but I have come to love what I do and who I associate with. I learn from these sweet individuals daily.

7. I opened myself up 4 different times for potential relationships. None of them went anywhere and that's ok. But what I liked about this realization is that I reminded myself I am trying and I am putting myself out there. There are times I get down on myself and know I need to do more in meeting people. Even though I know I need to try harder I am proud of myself that in 2 years I had 4 potential relationships. It's better than the rate I thought I was going.

8. I welcomed another adorable lil nephew into my family and I became an adopted auntie to a few more cute lil babes.

I am sure there are more significant changes in my life but I guess the point I am making is that life doesn't sit still. It continues to move and we have the opportunity to move with it or be stagnant. I have met so many people who just choose to live life vicariously and not make take the opportunity to change and grow and become better.

She will be gone for a year and half and I think wow, that is going to be a long time! But, really is it? There is so much that could happen in a year and a half if I allow myself to be moved and to grow and to be challenged and molded. I already know there will be some significant changes coming up in my near future and I am SO excited to see where this path will take me.

Time flies and we need to take advantage of every moment we have available. I have changed so much in the last two years due to changes in my life and I am so very grateful for these changes. I am so grateful that I haven't chosen to live stagnant and that I have been molded and taught so many valuable lessons.

I know the future hold so much more for me as well. Maybe I'll move literally (but no plans of it yet), maybe I will run further than I have ever run yet, maybe I will welcome some more cute babes that I can spoil, and maybe a future relationship will turn into something more than just a potential. But whatever it is I know I need to embrace life and my new adventure and allow it to continue to change me into the person I have the potential to become.

For in doing this, that is where true happiness lies. I am excited to write another post in 18 months and see just where life has taken me, what I am accomplishing, and more importantly what I have learned through this journey called life! :)



THE JOURNEY

Where are you going?

What do you hope to accomplish?

Are you doing any good at what you are doing?

Are you making a difference in the world?

Are you happy with your decisions?

 

We all have a journey to take in this lifetime. We all travel a different one though I think we generally want to be on the same one doing the same thing: doing good in the world.

This past week I learned a lot about journeys and destinations and reaching our end goal. The Wizard of Oz was referenced quite a bit this week as we sought out to discover for ourselves the road we were on and if we needed to make detours to be on the path we wanted to be on.

The path looks clear and easy but anyone who knows the movie knows it wasn't the easiest path to get to her destination. As I pondered this week about my path and the improvements I want to make on my path I discovered a few different things.

#1: Believe in Yourself- Believe that you can make a difference in yourself and in the world. Believe that you have the power to change your situation in life and believe that the future is bright as you put forth your effort to see the changes. I know I want a brighter happier future for myself and I also know it won't be an easy task to get there. But I do know if I hide behind fears and doubts then I will stay stuck in the same place with no progression in life.

#2: Positive Attitude- This has been a task I have been working at a lot lately and I know I am not perfect at it. But I discovered in more depth this week that the more you find the negative in something the more miserable you will seem to be. Since there will be bumps in our journey we will need to learn to roll with the punches and find something positive out of the situation. This past week demonstrated feelings of loss, feelings of insecurities, and feelings of not belonging. Even though those feelings were there I challenged myself to look beyond the uneasiness and to find the positives that were present. Each day I named off all the positives surrounding me and through that I had an excellent week. I had the opportunity to meet some great people, I enjoyed sunshine, rain, mountains, good food, and felt the Spirit numerous times throughout the week. There were bumps along the way but as I reacted positively to those bumps I was taught many valuable lessons that in turn are helping me discover new qualities and desires from within.

#3: Support System- Realizing the need of support in life is HUGE! Seeing the encouragement from others as you make changes in your life is the greatest feeling ever. I have been on a self improvement kick since January and I have loved and appreciated everyone who has stood behind me through it all. There have been amazing people who have prayed for me and have cheered me on and have sent encouraging text messages. This past week as I thought about their excitement and their encouragement it has helped me realize that I want more fulfillment on my journey through life and having them behind me has helped me find encouragement along my journey.

Just as Dorthy needed people along her journey to help her find her way, so do we. Yes, there is a lot I feel I can do on my own but it would be a sad world if I didn't have someone who believed in me as well.

Our journey in life isn't easy. I don't think it was meant to be easy. If life was easy what would we gain from it? Would we grow? Would we move forward? Would we prosper? Probably not. As we endure hard things with a positive outlook we will grow and the blessings from hard moments are so much sweeter. I look over my life and I know things happen for a reason and some times it is to move us in a direction that maybe our fears and insecurities are holding us back from going after. I was reminded this week that we are our hardest critics because we are so afraid of failure. But because we are so afraid of failure we don't give ourselves enough credit to go after something new, something challenging, something that could even be rewarding. We set ourselves up for failure before ever giving an idea a chance and in the end stop our journey from moving forward. It is time to believe in ourselves, reach for dreams, and know that in the end we will make it to our destiny on the journey of life and that this destiny will be the most rewarding thing of all because we believed in ourselves enough to make it happen.

 



WARNING: PROCEEDING WITH CAUTION!!!!!!!

In life is there such thing as being to cautious? Can it hinder our progression? I have always been a person who is cautious about a lot of things in life. I also have a very imaginative imagination therefore I foresee what could happen and of course I see the worst thing that could happen. When I was younger I would some times find myself angry with myself because I couldn't bring myself to do the daring things that my brothers would do. They seemed so fearless and therefore in my eyes the coolest guys around and I was just their dumb scaredy cat sister who wouldn't allow herself to do anything. My conscience in a lot of ways would take over than I would imagine the worst possible outcome and I would be paralyzed with fear.

As I got older I think I gained a little bit more confidence in myself and courage to be a little bit braver. I came out of my shell a little more and convinced myself that I could do some of the things I was terrified of. A lot of it was from the encouragement I had at my side. I remember when I was a youth my older brother and his friend (who I was majorly crushing on at the time) offered to take all of us girls repelling. I was so stoked to go while all the other girls thought it was dumb. I talked it up for weeks, getting all the girls excited then the moment arrived. I was up at the top of the rock with my brother's friend all harnessed and ready to go and I froze. I was paralyzed by fright and thought there is no way I could do this. Even though there were other girls ready to go, he sat by me forever coaxing me and encouraging me to do it. He slowly convinced me to turn around with the sincerest statement that he had me securely locked into the rope and to just look up in his eyes the whole time and that I would make it down the mountain. Of course I was later teased that it only took me looking dreamily into his eyes that got me down since I was crushing on him so much lol But it was more than that. My mom stood at the bottom through the entire process cheering me on and telling me to do it. She never once moved from her spot. She cheered me the whole way down the rock and being the wise mother that she is as soon as I was down and even though I was shaking she made me get right back up there and go down again. She knew I needed to do it twice to prove to myself that I could repel down the mountain.

Through out life I got braver and braver in certain areas and kept branching out of my little shell. But as I also got older I experienced another thing: PAIN!!! And by pain, I mean pain of all kinds. A few years ago one day my big toe of all things randomly started to hurt. I didn't think much about it until fall rolled around and I was limping pretty bad and finally decided to have it checked out. This finally proceeded in having 3 foot surgeries in 2 years. However, when I had that first foot surgery I woke up from the surgery and I wasn't numb like I should have been. That first step down was the worst most excruciating pain that I have EVER experienced. I have never in my life felt pain like that before. (Thankfully the next 2 surgeries were better) But because of that experience I am somewhat paralyzed by fear and extremely cautious because I don't want to have that pain again. I still to this day can't bring myself to jump off the back of a truck. I have to sit down and scoot myself until I touch the ground. When I participated in the dirty dash last year and everyone jumped off the bales of hay I cautiously scooted down. In January I took the youth ice skating and I was surprised how cautious I was about moving around and worried I would trip and hurt my foot. Everyone else assumed I was scared of ice skating but little did they know, I use to ice skate all the time when I was younger. This week a friend of mine asked me to go hiking with her and another one of her friends and we hiked straight up the water over slick rocks to get to the waterfall. The end result was beautiful and breath taking. They moved up there so fast but to my surprise I was SO cautious and it took me a lot longer to get up there and to get back down. The whole time I had a fear of slipping on the wet rocks and hurting my feet and experiencing that pain again. I felt so bad that they had to wait on me at the top and at the bottom but I could not get my body to move any faster than it was.

Not only have a experienced physical pain but over the years I have experienced emotional pain as well. With that pain sadly comes the lack of trust. Lack of trust in myself and lack of trust in others. It is easier to stick to what is familiar rather than the fear of pain and mistrust again right? This is something that I struggle with so much and hope to one day master overcoming. Developing not only trust but faith in the assured knowledge that all will be alright in the end. This weekend I was with youth again and I asked them to take on a very daunting task. Thinking back on it, I wonder how I would have done in their situation and my heart swells in pride for each of them. I asked them each to be blindfolded and they were blindly led up a mountain side and then back down. This was not a clear smooth path. There were twigs and logs and branches in the way. Some of the time there was a rope if they trusted the person guiding them to hold on to it. Of course there was also someone telling them to go in a different direction as well. I know how cautious I am walking up and down things not blindfolded that could have potentially hurt my feet and for them to surrender to complete trust in someone else was amazing and they taught me so much by watching them.

So this morning as I ponder fear and being cautious vs being fearless and having complete trust I wonder where is the happy medium of having faith and trust knowing all will work out and distinguishing between our conscience guiding us and not hindering us from progressing.

I ponder: Where is my confidence that I can accomplish good things? Where is my confidence in knowing that I will be led down the correct path for myself and that as I pray to a loving Heavenly Father that he won't leave me stranded but that he will let me know what is right and wrong? Where is my faith that not every guy I will meet will break my heart? Where is the faith that people I meet will not always take advantage of my friendship for their gain then ditch me when I no longer am of service towards them? Where is my faith that I won't always be the "go to girl" to those individuals who are struggling in their own relationships and when they finally figure things out and they leave me in the dust? Where is my ability to simply trust again? Where is my ability to see beyond physical and emotional pain and recognize there is good amongst it all and that there won't always be disappointments?

The thing that comes to my mind the most is Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lead not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy path" This I believe to be so true. I also know its something I need to more conientously focus on in my life. I know as I learn to trust and believe more in faith and develop courage to move forward to take steps in the dark at times that my trust and faith will trump some of these fears. I know pain is necessary but I know that pain is also temporary as well. I will develop the assurdity that I can trust again in the unknown. That my heart won't always get broken, that I won't always be taken advantage of for others gains, that I can have the confidence in myself to do what I want and what the Lord knows is right for me. And in the end I won't be always proceeding with caution but eventually I can say WARNING: PROCEEDING WITH FAITH AND TRUST IN ALL THINGS! :)

 

Blessings of Life

Why is life so hard???????????????????????????????? That is the phrase I have been hearing over and over again by so many people the last few months. Why do we have the challenges we do? Why do we have to deal with life’s hardships? Why do I have to make such hard decisions? Why can’t I just avoid making decisions and live as if pain is not there?

I have been thinking about this a lot as I have listened to so many people discuss their hardships with me and wish I had the best answers for them.  Sadly, I don’t have the best answers and in fact my heart reaches out to them because not that long ago I was wondering similar things.

I still don’t think my life is the greatest and I definitely don’t have all the answers out there but some of the conclusions I have come through during the past couple of years of really hard moments are the following:

#1: Trials don’t go away, but neither does Christ!

I was thinking about this and then saw the saying on facebook and it is so true. We all have trials. We all have to make decisions for our lives. This is how we grow and become the best person we can be. It is through these that we are changed and molded. If we don’t make decisions for ourselves then how will we know what is best for us. Sometimes we have to accept the answer as “No” and that is the hardest. Believe me, I get that one. But there are so many times we are scared to hear the answer no so we continue in misery and pain and indecisiveness. That is not the life to live. This is the moment to put total trust in something Higher than ourselves and know that Christ is not going away and will guide us through. Even if the answer might be no God knows what is best and if you ALLOW him to guide your life he will let you see the answer that is YES!

 

#2 Refiners fire always has a purpose!

We are being molded and we are being shaped into something our human eyes struggle to see. Getting burned, feeling pain is all part of the plan. People try to avoid pain. People try to avoid hurt. Cause honestly who wants to feel those things? No One!!! I get it probably more than most. But allowing ourselves to feel pain allows us to express humility and realize there is power Higher than ours that will lead us to a better place.

 

#3 We can do hard things!

We need to realize that the hard things are not going to go away but that as we push ourselves we can experience so many changes that will become the sweetest tender mercies that we have ever experienced. We need to remember that we are not left alone to figure out this life. We are not here without tools to make us stronger, to make us better. IF we allow ourselves to be pushed, put forth the work, and trust it can be done than it can be done.

So with all this said I have decided to prove to myself that I can do hard things and that if I work hard and put in my effort and faith then I can accomplish things. Some trials are a result of our actions and some trials just come because they are a part of life and it’s a thing we must deal with.

As most of you know a few years ago I decided to take up running. Running is not a natural thing for me. Quite honestly I am not fast at all. I would beat myself up over this when I would see people run faster than me or my time wasn’t the “best”. On top of this as friends would improve and become faster I would encounter more and more health problems and it has affected my ability to run as well as I want to. But I know if I endure well then I can accomplish what I set out to do in life. Even though I still struggle with this, I am training to tell myself it’s not how fast I go it’s the fact that I am doing it. It’s the fact that I am putting one foot in front of the other and trusting that I am not left alone to handle this alone.

In the past two years I have endured 3 foot surgeries, I have a weak ankle from falling down some stairs that has not quite healed the same, I developed sciatic nerve problems during my Teton trip last summer that still flares up, and lately I have been experiencing more back cramps and leg cramps then I ever knew was possible. But with all this going on I still want to run. I want to work through this trial and trust that something Higher than me believes in me that I can do it.

 

So a few weeks ago I did a crazy thing: I signed up for a 10K! For most people this is nothing. But for me this is huge! With all the issues that keep hitting me running is becoming a hard trial. People said “Sarah you are crazy!” But they were supportive in pushing me on. I didn’t give myself much time to prep for this and with all my health issues attacking me I am not expecting huge results. I am just expecting to make it through the finish line! J I have an awesome friend who has been pushing me harder and harder and reminding me that I need to put it in my head that I can do it. Having her support by my side has been amazing.

So if anyone is reading this, I ask for an extra prayer as I tackle this 10K tomorrow morning at 7 am sharp. I know just like other trials I have in life that I can endure this. I know that I am not being left alone, and I know I am being refined into something greater by doing this. I want to live a long healthy life. If I get married someday I want to be a healthy wife and support to my husband. If I have children or children are entrusted to me someday then I want to be a healthy fun mother. If neither of those things comes then I want to be a healthy and fun aunt, friend, sister, and daughter. I don’t want my trials to weigh me down and stop me from accomplishing what I know I can become in life. Whether it is running or not, I am here to prove that I have the power to change my life, make the best choices for me, and strive to live the best life I can.

As nervous as I am, I am looking forward to crossing the finish line on Center Street in Provo tomorrow morning. If you are bored and live close by come on down and support all these runners who train so hard to better themselves. If unable to come your prayers and support will be greatly appreciated. Cause whether our trial is running or on a much deeper level; bottom line is that we can accomplish all things if we put one foot in front of the other and allow ourselves to be guided in the best direction we can and trust that whatever we are sent here to endure, if we endure it well, will be for our best benefit! J