THE CREEPER

It all my years going to an LDS singles ward there always seemed to be that one guy. You know the one who was not only little weird but down right CREEPY??? He seemed to follow you in one form or another to each ward you attended. He was in almost every ward I attended.

Well when I graduated myself from the singles ward and into the family ward I'm not gonna lie it was a hard transition. But one thought I had, "Hey at least there won't be anymore creepy men following me around!" Little did I know not only would I be wrong but DEAD WRONG!!!!!

Now some people have varying opinions on what defines a creeper. What is creepy to some may not be to others. Some people take it as they are just extra friendly. So here are my thoughts as to why the creeper in my ward is a creeper:

1. When you begin to realize that eyes are on you and you have felt that for a few months and you finally venture your gaze to see if you are right or wrong and you totally catch the dude STARING at you! So then you start playing musical chairs around the chapel hoping you are not in the line of his view and the whole time wishing you could look in him the eye with this expression:

That is how I would define a CREEPER!

2. When he stops you outside and randomly starts talking to you about nonsense and tells you that he has increased his exercising because it has been revealed to him that he will be called on a mission to the mountains before long and knows he will be taking a wife with him. Ok, umm random and weird. THEN a few months later on another time he corners you outside and you can't break away he says, "Sure is a beautiful day outside. Nice enough day to go fishing. By the way do you like fishing?" Me: "uhhh ya its ok, I've been a few times." Him: "Really ? Would you go up to the mountains with me and go fishing? There are some beautiful hidden lakes up there that not many people know about" Me thinking: HECK NO!!!!! Me saying: "Well, I'm pretty busy person sorry I don't have much time for that kind of stuff." His response: "Well, dear we just need to change that now don't we? We need to free you up some time" Umm............ Can you say CREEPER????

3. When you are purposely talking to someone else to avoid the dude and he purposely interrupts your conversation so he can start talking to you. So now you walk all the way around the church to avoid him, you even stand in the bathroom even for 15 minutes hoping to avoid contact, or you hide in a room and spend the entire 2nd hour of church prepping the room for your 3rd hour lesson cause you know if you venture out he will find you. Or you now use your phone or electronic devise as an excuse to make you look busy so you don't have to talk to him, and you now feel this is how you approach every hallway at church:

that's what I call a CREEPER!!!!

4. When he does stop you at church and says, "So dear I just have to ask you a question, why is pretty young thing like you in our ward?" Ummm ...... how are you suppose to respond to that? I say with a forced laugh oh well you know I graduated myself from the singles ward so its automatically the next step. And he responds, "Well you are just so pretty and look so young that I'm just shocked you are in our ward. How old are you? Better yet dear why don't you guess my age?' WHAT THE WHAT???? We are not at the fair dude where you play the guessing game AND note to the wise, you NEVER converse with a woman about age!

Umm..... Can I say CREEPER!!!

 

 

5. The fact the dude calls  you dear in the first place is just not right, then you find out that he has made comments that he knows God will grant him a marriage in the next 5 years is just a little out there, then he tells you often "ever since I found out about your surgery I pray for your well being" just leaves an uneasy feeling if you know what I mean. Now some may argue, hes just being NICE! Well, with all the other incidences, I just can't see it as nice, I see it as CREEPY!!!

 

6. And the ultimate reason why I think he is a creeper: When he stops in the hallway when you are getting something out of a closet and are clearly busy and he wants to make small talk about the weather and how happy he is to see that you are not wearing a surgical shoe any more then he says, "So I thought you lived by yourself, but I often see another female coming out of your apartment. Did you get a roommate?" WHAT THE WHAT???!!!!!????? Talk about a total freak out feeling now, knowing the dude WATCHES WHO COMES IN AND OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!

Who does that? Well, I'll tell ya who does: A CREEPER!!!!

No wonder I had a nightmare the other night that someone broke into my house and was attacking me. No wonder I woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding and wishing more then anything at that moment that a man was sleeping next to me in bed and how thankful I am it was just a nightmare and that I rarely ever feel scared being in my own place.

But I will say, even thou I now am the queen of musical chairs at church, and can stealth walk thru the hallways lol I am to the point that I think I will start paying men to be my boyfriend at least during church anyways haha or pay them to whisk me away anytime the creeper dude starts talking to me!

Any men out there needing extra money? Or how about a weekly supply of a plate of cookies? Just Sayin! :)