What does it mean to be TOUGH????

So the word TOUGH has been on my mind recently and todays experience has made me chuckle ironically. For awhile now I was thinking I am tough. I am doing lots of things that people around me keep saying "I would never do that." As talked about numerous times:

I have hiked the TETONS: 
















I ran the DIRTY DASH:













I have ran other races, set numerous goals and have really strived to get back on top of things. I am fulfilling my calling to the best of my ability and I am putting in all this time at work to show that I truly am an asset to the team. I am proving to myself that I can handle tough situations.

Then on Sunday this guy was talking about a dream with snakes and I was REALLY getting creeped out in church and how the snakes were attacking him. Then that afternoon my friend and I went for a power walk on the Provo Trail and she screams:

SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im sure it didn't look like the one above but I don't care! I took off running and screaming like a little girl! lol If you really know me, you know snakes of ANY kind are NOT my thing at ALL! It quietly slithered away and I had to laugh to myself as the thought came into my mind, "Really Sarah, you think you are TOUGH?" haha

Then the dreaded Dr's appt arrived today and I woke up again and looked in the mirror and said, "Sarah you are tough!!! You got this! It's no big deal!" I'm sitting in the Dr's chair playing solitaire on my Kindle and wondering why would a Dr want to look at feet every day anyway. Its kinda gross if you think about it lol

Before long he walks in and starts to play with my feet by play I mean push and bend and move and with each wince I said to myself, "It's cool, you are SO TOUGH" He then pauses and says "hmmmm...... lets do some x-rays!" After the x-ray moment I go back to playing solitaire as I wait the dreaded moments. He walks in and says: Drum Roll Please!!!! :)

The lights go on the x-ray goes up he stares at the pictures, sits back down, plays with my toes looks me in the eye and says, "We gotta do surgery again! We gotta cut you open again where we did last time and remove the big bump on top of your toe and move the pin around thats sticking out of the bone underneath your foot! Then while you are under I am going to manipulate your other foot that we did surgery on and attempt to get more movement out of that toe as well!"

I just sat there and stared! I had this feeling when I walked in that he was going to say that but I was like naw you are just worrying over nothing! Then all I could think about was the horrible pain from the time before, and the horrible inconvience of not being able to use my foot, and the LONG recovery etc etc etc. Then I thought about all the progress I have made and all my accomplishments and what a set back this will be.

I walked out the office wishing I had someone stronger next to me to give me a hug like wrap me up in their arms in a big bear hug type hug and tell me "It's gonna be nothing like the time before" Instead I quietly went to my car, drove back to my office checked my upcoming crazy schedule and scheduled the dreaded surgery.

Now, I don't feel so TOUGH anymore!!!!