Are you LISTENING?

The other day when I found out my sad and frustrating news I called a person who has been thru this mess with me literally from the beginning and I knew this news would affect them directly so I called to talk and get advice. When I called however, the person had no time to speak with me. They were busy helping another person and told me I had to figure it out on my own and they would just make it work.

I hung up devastated, hurt, sad, and I will admit a little angry. I got why they couldn't talk then, I really did, but at the same time I didn't get it. I wanted to talk and wanted help figuring things out.

So I turned to the second the person who has been thru this mess with me from the beginning. After she put the lil ones down for their naps she called me back. She said, "Sorry I missed your call. Whats up?" I said, "Well I got some bummer news today." Without saying anything else she instantly says, "Oh no, You have to have surgery again don't you? Oh, Sarah I'm so so so sorry"

Anne of Green Gable speaks of kindred spirits and many times I think I have found that in this friend. With the invitation that she understood I sorta just started word vomiting on my poor friend and telling her all that was on my mind.



I explained my frustation that I feel that this is going to be a set back from all that I have accomplished since the last 2 surgeries. I told her of my fears that the recovery pain will be just as bad as the last time since this was the foot that took the longest to heal. I told her how financially stressed and burdened down I feel. I told her of my frustrations of how the last 3 years has not allowed me to get any type of financial break from the 2 foot surgeries, then the crazy sickness that landed me the outrageous E.R. bill, to the broken tooth which led to a couple root canals on top of that, to the numerous car problems that I am yet again dealing with as a month ago I was given the options to either fix my car which total cost of problems is MORE then the car is worth or drive it until it dies then get a knew one. I told her how I was doing my best to be more financially savy in the last month to get out of debt and how I have been cooking a meal on Sunday then portioning out the leftovers to last me all week and just when I thought I had a solution to get on top of my debt to get a new car I receive this news today :(

See, I wasn't lieing when I said I totally word vomitted and my friend just LISTENED and commented how Sorry she was for what I am going thru. She didn't have much more to say nor did she need to. She didn't have any elaborate solutions just made sure I knew that she cared and that she was there for me and honestly that made the difference. Do I have any better solutions then before? No, I don't. I still don't know how it will all turn out but she calmed me just enough by listening to my little whine fest that when I hung up with her I was able to schedule the surgery and look at life again and know somehow in some way that it will work itself out.

I then pondered the two different scenarios and I wondered in my own life am I to much like the first scenario? Do I brush people off more then I should? Do I not take the time to really LISTEN to them. Most people in life don't need solutions. That is not why they talk. If they want a solution they will tell you in their conversation. Instead they just want to know that someone si listening and that they really care.

I don't want someone to feel like I turned them off when they needed someone the most to talk to. So I am making a new goal to LISTEN MORE! I want to be a better listener! I want to make that difference in their life when they needed it. So heres on to LISTENING more and following the example of my amazing friend! :)