Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Mutual Weirdness = Love! What? Really?

So I have had this lil thought for awhile now with different experiences I have gone through of how does one actually fall in love? Is it really that simple? Does it take continual practice? How does one know its love and not lust? Or just not a desperate attempt for attention so you assume its love and in reality it just cause your lonely?
 
Dr. Seusss says love is:
I have pondered this thought and wonder what it takes to fall in mutual weirdness together. So far in life for me its lacking the mutual part. Me and mutual can't seem to connect. Lets take a look at various scenarios that to many of us go thru before mutual weirdness actually takes place.

You are into him but clearly he is not into you!
 
We are all familiar with this movie right? 

I didn't like this movie when I watched it the first time. Maybe it hit a little to close to home. But I was shopping with a friend once and decided to add a movie to my collection and she LOVED this movie and I thought really??? So I decided to give it another chance. I have actually watched it a few times and I still don't LOVE it. Great actors but maybe if I was in a committed relationship I would view it differently.
 
But we all have experienced that time in our lives when we meet someone and they seem so great yet they just don't seem to feel the same way. I happened to meet a guy awhile back and honestly I don't know him that well but I have interacted with him a couple of times and he seems like a great guy and one I would like to get to know but he clearly is not interested if he is not making a move. I gave him an opportunity to get to know me and he clearly didn't take the bait. I watch him go thru week long relationships then they end and I wonder what did you see in that person? Why did you pursue them? Why don't you want to pursue me?
 
A girl can only do so much to show she is interested but ultimately the guy will make a move if he is interested. As I have sat back and watched my brothers pursue their relationships with their wives I have noticed guys enjoy the chase. Guys enjoy showing you that you mean the world to them.
 
He is into you but you are not into him!
 
CAT LOVER!!!!!!!!!!
 
 

Do I really need to say more here? If you are confused about the above read http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4829182396584292183#editor/target=post;postID=3053767440605745847
But we have all met that person who thinks we are totally going to rock their socks but seriously there is no chemistry or connections! I think a lot of time people think you are single and I am single so we must be perfect for each other. But how can a relationship flourish is there is clearly no connection? If  there is no commonality at all? Why do people go for this? I have always wondered. You see it all the time in the movies where the guy or girl goes for someone way out of their league and when it happens you wonder if it could in reality but I can't seem to fall in love or lust or like or whatever with a 55 year old cat lover! Just Sayin!
 
Hes into you but NOT into you!
 
This is the scenario that I have fallen into way to often in my life. Hes into the IDEA of you but when it really comes down to making it work hes not into you the person! He likes the idea that you are a hard working educated person, good head on your shoulder, strong in what you believe in, love life and what it has to offer but if he has to look past that and put in effort himself it just ain't gonna happen on his end! Make a relationship work two-sided? really? well that's the dumbest thing he has ever heard of! lol He likes the idea that you are flirting with him and building his ego but if he has to make an effort to show hes interested as well, he backs down and bolts. He likes that you cook for him, look after his needs, let him in your life take control of it and get comfortable but then when you ask where is this relationship going he bolts without a another word! As long as I am the suga momma life is all sugary sweet but once I mention I have feelings and want more then being the suga momma he thinks "Crap, I have to grow up and make a decision and be a responsible adult well that's to hard so I'm going to cowardly run away" Or the all to common, "Wait! What? I just can't make out with you but have other relationships with other people? You sayin that's not cool? Or wait, I can't just have a physical relationship? You want me to develop true feelings? That's the most absurd thing I have heard!!!!"
 
Yes, I am  throwing lots of sarcasm into the above paragraph but those situations in one form or another has been replayed all to often. When I want commitment or respect or mutual give and take they bolt quicker then lightening and usually without saying another word! They just disappear and I am left looking dumbfounded with idiot posted to my forehead for falling for it once again:
 
Great Friendship BUT.......
 
This is a scenario that I think everyone comes across at some point in their lives before the mutualness actually collides. You are great friends, you are comfortable around each other, when others look at you they think O wow, look at their friendship they would make the most perfect couple, you make each other laugh at times BUT one of you just doesn't feel that spark, that drive, that desire to pursue the relationship farther then friendship! Please tell me you have been thru this???? There has been people in my life who will always have a special place in my heart for their friendship and for what they have taught me. I cherish their friendships because they have showed me what I want in a relationship one day but I want and I need that spark to make it go further. I can't bring myself to be in a loveless relationship! I have seen it all to often. I think what is painful in this situation is those on the outside who don't understand the need for spark and just see two great people and wonder what is wrong with you for not going for that person. For not jumping into a relationship and fulfilling your life long desire. Why do we meet people and become the greatest friends but the spark can't come? You are jealous to an extent of the person who will end up with them but beat yourself up wondering why it can't be you but knowing at the same time if you forced it you would be unhappy! Knowing its no fault of theirs and doing what you can to not break their heart.
 
Having broken a heart for not having the feelings but cherishing the amazing friendship I had with a person and having my heart broken for falling for someone who was into the idea of me but not really into me I think this is why I ponder these scenarios every once in awhile and wonder how to move past them. I never want to break another heart again or go thru another broken heart myself. Seeing the pain on his face and knowing how long it took me to get back on my feet after I watched someone walk out of my life without an explanation I don't tread on these scenarios lightly.
 
Finally the Totally Off Limits:

Maybe this person is out of our league! Maybe this person can't be in a relationship with you for multiple reasons! Maybe you met them for a reason but bottom line you just can't be together!  Maybe this scenario is a combination of the above and not a category of its own. But have you ever come across someone and think: I want to find someone like you someday? You totally connect with the person, you make each other laugh, and just by knowing them they make you want to be a better person? You have this total connection that you just can't put into words but there are multiple reasons why you just can't be in a relationship. This person totally rocks your world yet they can't fully. Are they put in your life just to be reminded that there are others out there like them but available in ways this person is not? Are they put in your life just to add that laugh and smile when you needed it the most? Or is it the other way around and you were actually the one put into their lives for a certain reason? But whatever the case maybe the bottom line is you connect with the person on multiple levels but for multiple reasons you just can't be together!
 
So I ask you, if you are reading this blog post to take a moment and contemplate then let me know what does it take to find someone who can fall into mutual weirdness together? How does one move out of the above scenarios? Or is it necessary to go thru all the above scenarios or can we avoid them? If you have fallen into mutual weirdness with someone and have called it love, tell me how it happened? I want to hear responses from you if you take a moment to read the blog post: Comment. I know many of you are past these scenarios or at one time were past them. What made it happen?
 
Looking forward to your responses and happy reading to all who take a moment to read the ramblings of my heart, mind and soul! :) 



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